Lord, I don't want to be a yo-yo

August 21, 2011 – Finally, today I am back on track with bible study. I am so sorry, Lord, for allowing changes to our regular routines to keep our family so distracted and occupied that we fail to make time for you. You deserve far more from me. I struggle because so often I allow myself to be separated from you. The good news is, this doesn’t have to continue.

How many times did I have this thought? I wanted to spend time with God every day, then inevitably, I would find myself looking back over several days and feel so defeated because once again I had failed. It was always great to get back on track, but still, Satan would constantly use this yo-yo effect in my walk with God to shame me. Combine that with some struggles with sin like pride, lust, and anger, and like the Israelites in the book of Judges, my life was trapped in a cycle that kept me from experiencing real growth and victory.

So, what made the difference? How did I ever break free of this cycle? First of all, I dealt with the spiritual influences that hid in the shadows and held my thought life captive. I learned how to fully submit to God and resist the devil. I admitted my need for healing and restoration, and I prayed once again to receive the Holy Spirit and give him full freedom to fill me and work in my life. Change didn’t all happen overnight, but I did have a degree of relief that flooded in immediately. Then, I was able to have the persistence to give God more than a few, rushed, moments each day. Some would say I disciplined myself, but honestly, that’s not at all what it was. Having dealt with the sources of my distraction and defeat, I could then experience a greater depth of God’s love and forgiveness. Now, missing my time with God every day isn’t an option. I need it, and I truly love it. You will, too.